Why do we transition, does it bring about order?
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Topics of interest from the perspective of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) and Medical Qigong.
Let us share our views because no two people will see and experience the same thing in the exact same manner.

Why do we transition, does it bring about order?

Transitions that involve painful emotions in a relationship are never easy.

by Yong Kim on 09/24/12

Transitions that are part of relationships will be the topic of this blog. A new relationship for many people will require assimilation of the new, as well as modification and adaptation of self to the new partner. There needs to be a compromise of one’s wishes and desires, and a determination of the needs of each individual. A balance must be struck and is crucial for the relationship to be successful. So in essence, new couples will run into chaos at first and hopefully and eventually the kinks of the relationship gets ironed out.  

From the perspective of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) & Medical Qigong, one main reason as to why couples do not end up staying together is that they bring to the relationship past negative energy or emotions that never became fully resolved or cleared. In psychology, an example of this would be a rebound relationship. Moreover, the baggage of negative energy could be from but not limited to the following reasons: traumatic experiences from early childhood; physical injuries; lots of resentment or anger at a parent(s); and just not properly getting over prior relationships.

According to Medical Qigong, thoughts and experiences create energetic vibrations which gets stored and recorded in our bodies. Thus, if the accumulated negative energy and emotions (sadness, pain, anger, hatred, etc.) do not get released or cleared then it would just stay with the person and follow them throughout their life, and may even lead to an illness later in their life. How will this affect a relationship? Well, as the relationship starts to develop, one partner may do things that will bother or annoy the other partner. Lets call the annoying actions, “triggers.” When arguments start between couples, the arguments may arise from insignificant things. But what is bad about this is that if the person who has prior baggage of negative emotions becomes upset, then the triggers can and will start to unleash all the past emotions onto their new partner. There will definitely be other dynamics involved, but the accumulated past will affect the current relationship and lead to more escalated arguments. Then, inevitably, the tension between the two persons will be so great that it will change personalities, and eventually lead to a break-up. 

So how can one improve self and future relationships? First, the past emotions that one may be harboring in them need to get cleared out to the point that pain or anger no longer exists, or is very manageable. There is a tendency for people to become distracted by activities and not give much thought about the past in order to run away from the pain and even become quickly involved in another relationship. The danger would be that since the person has not yet cleared their past emotions or negative energy, it would be as if they are carrying an emotional bomb just waiting to implode on self or get released onto someone else, it would only be a matter of time. Especially, if a person has gone through several issues involving family and or personal relationships without proper clearing, then that individual will surely need much counseling or guidance to help that person get on the right path.

Medical Qigong is one tool that can help in the clearing of the past emotions, and there are also powerful healing sounds that can do the same, as well as a few other techniques. That which is equally important is a good friend, a counselor, and or someone who really understands this process, to be there when one really needs to talk and who will continue to stand by their side and help guide them through this painful healing process. To get to the other side, you truly must go through it, you have to live through the pain and there is not an easier way. The process is truly easier said than done, but it can be done.

Break-ups are definitely painful, but there are lessons to be learned, although it may not appear that way at that moment. A break-up can be a time of self-reflection to determine one’s own weaknesses and strengths, and to work towards improving oneself. If one comes to such realization of self-reflection as to what occurred and works toward changing and improving oneself then that individual would have gained a life changing lesson; however, if one can’t see the lesson and there is no effort to change then that would be most unfortunate because it really takes two to argue.

Hence, transitions can bring about order, but will depend on the path that is chosen.

If you have thoughts on this topic, please send me an e-mail.